So, you are getting ready to go on the first date, and you are already nervous. Rehearsing questions in front of the mirror, calling friends for advice—OVERTHINKING IT! These are all symptoms associated with being nervous on a first date. But, do not fret; we will be examining 12 great questions to ask the person you are meeting.
Get your pen and pad or cell phone ready and take some notes; trust me, it will come in handy. By the way, these questions are neutral and can apply to anyone in any situation. Let’s get into 12 great questions to ask on a first date.
The first date
After exchanging contacts with your new interest, it is time to plan for the first date. You know nothing about the person except the information you found on their Facebook page (stalker). What can you do to better prepare yourself for the first date with a complete stranger?
There are many things to consider here; you have date locations, what to talk about, past experiences, etc. Thinking about all the options available may give you a headache, but wouldn’t you want the first date to be memorable.
The location or setting of the first date is critical. This part of the first date can be heavily influenced by social media. Social media has altered a lot of our ways of living, especially dating.
Instead of movies and dinner, we now Netflix and chill. Most of the complaints I have heard from daters were centered around people wanting to come over for the first date or poor communication skills.
This may make for a great horror story on Halloween about the “Nightmare on Netflix and Chill.” We do not want anything to happen, so that might not be a good idea. Dating in the digital age can be a challenge, but you can find good ways to do so with information.
One “pro” tip for a first date location might be to find things that ALL people love. Say food and music. Hopefully, you have an open-minded date when you try to pick a place from various ethnic cuisines in your locale.
Because of the Coronavirus, many of the standard options may be out. Walks in the park can finally come in handy! Whatever you decide to do, try to be open-minded, flexible, and friendly. It is the first date.
Here are a few tips on what men and women want on the first date.
Common first date questions
People want to know a lot of the same boring things. That can lead to the same boring and painfully common first date questions. Obviously, only focusing on the common prevents your ability to craft great questions to ask.
You know, the “so what’s your favorite color,” or “what do you like to do for fun” freshman first date questions. Let’s take a look at 10 of the most common first date questions.
- What is your favorite food?
- What do you do for fun?
- What is your favorite color?
- What is your sign?
- What was your longest relationship?
- When was your last relationship?
- How did your previous relationship end?
- What do you do for a living?
- Do you have any kids?
- What are your religious beliefs?
The last three bolded questions have the potential for being “deal breakers.” Let’s say the person is unemployed with three children and has a drastically different religious practice than you. Most often, people will know this first date is the first and last.
At times, people ask generic details as an icebreaker to ease into the more meaty questions. This is a valuable technique when you have great questions to ask but feel uncertain about the response.
Having great questions to ask is essential
There is no perfect way to say this, but you have to know how to create great questions to ask on a first date if you want to stand out. We only remember those who stand out, are different or unique, and having great questions to ask, is one way.
Maybe I am exaggerating the significance of knowing great questions to ask on a first date, but I know it helps to have the skillset.
There are two necessary things to achieve while you are on a first date; the first is establishing mutual ground. The second is to get a better understanding of this new person. There is only one way to do that, with communication.
Communication is the only way to get your message across. This is the only way you can understand, exchange ideas, and, of course, help deliver those great questions to ask on a first date.
12 great questions to ask on a first date
We are finally here. The moment you have been impatiently waiting for the 12 great questions to ask on a first date. We will be looking at the questions and the intent behind the question. What are we hoping to find out?
This will help you better navigate your communication process to get to know the person you are on a date with. This will not come easy; like anything else, it requires practice.
You can have all the tools you need to be successful but learning the best way to utilize them is up to you. Let’s examine the 12 great questions to ask on a first date.
- What does your five-year plan look like? (This question is an excellent indicator of a person’s goals or outlook of the future).
- What are your dealbreakers? (As mentioned earlier, it is a good idea to understand what a person’s limitations are sooner rather than later).
- What are three things you cannot live without? (Want to get an idea of what is important to someone? Here you go).
- Do you have a role model or someone you look up to? (This can illustrate one’s respect or having values).
- What was your favorite childhood memory? (Childhood can bring up so many memories and emotions. This is a good pulse reader for what makes someone happy or things they used to enjoy).
- What is something weird about you? (We are all weird in some way. It is good to exchange ideas and thoughts on what things make us quirky).
- What does friendship look like to you? (This question gives a bit of insight into the person and their social life).
- If the world was ending, what would be one thing you had to do? (Apocalyptic questions/end game scenarios tend to be good conversation starters; they allow you to see what a person thinks outside of the box).
- What was the most exciting dream you’ve had recently? (Very random, but a thought-provoking question).
- If you could have a superpower, what would it be? (Abstract questions to see a different side to a person).
- If you had to be a superhero or villain, who would you choose? (This question gives a lot more information than you think. Hopefully, they’ve watched a superhero movie sometime in their life).
- If I left my wallet at home (accidentally, of course), would you pay for this date? (Very good in checking different parameters on someone. Should not be a dealbreaker but can be for some).
These questions are not the end-all-be-all in first date questions (but their greatness, undeniable). You may use them in your dating travels, or you may craft some of your own. The choice is ultimately yours.
How to create great questions to ask on a first date
For those who want to be unique, this part of the article is for you. How do you create great questions to ask for your first date? It is simple, you have to dig and find creative ways to get a person to talk or lower their guard.
Comfort is a big thing for first dates. You must remember to keep calm, even when things may not be going the way you intended. It is better to lead & leave with grace than barbarism (speaking from experience).
For example, your date seems to not have anything in common with you, yet you want to know what kind of childhood they had. You ask great question number 5 (listed above) and await the response.
You find out some information that helps you better understand why some things about your date seemed to not mesh with you. Sometimes sticking to the plan or riding it out can work in your favor.
Crafting great questions to ask on a first date does not have to be difficult. The items do not have to be complicated or original, but they can have some originality.
In seeking to know about childhood, these could be potential questions.
- What kind of child were you while growing up?
- What was your favorite cartoon as a child?
- What was the best memory you had as a child?
- How has your childhood shaped you today?
Same question four different ways. Take time and practice yourself!
The 12 great questions to ask on a first date were provided to you as a cheat sheet. To be effective with this cheat sheet, you can personalize or change them to better suit your needs.
Asking the right questions on a first date is very important because it keeps the conversation exciting and engaging. Good conversation allows you to really connect on a level other than physical.
Some first date tips that can guide you as well as asking a question are:
- Be yourself
- Do not go into much depth about exes
- Stay true to you, but keep your representative POLISHED!
- Be patient
- Be kind
- Be open-minded
If all else fails, it was a great attempt, and you can always leave the date knowing you did your best. Besides, don’t you want to check which one of my matches messaged you on your way home?… Caio